My Impressive Rack

I was at Kunsan only a few weeks when I decided I needed to make a change. A noticeable change. I thought it would improve my self esteem. I thought that it would boost my self image and round out the parts of me that were lacking. And so I started the modification. A half size at a time. I decided that I needed a rack.

So I went to the grocery store and bought one cannister of spice at a time. A different one. I built my rack, however, with little research. I didn't go online and compare spices. I didn't compare what was the best deal, what size, combination, and makeup would create the most devastating rack. No, I did it haphazardly. With little thought. And now I have quite a collection.

My rack hasn't turned out like I thought it would be. For one thing, there's so much of it that I don't quite know what to do. When people see it, they stare at my rack. Why? They wonder. Did he really need it? I can't answer their questions. I barely know what to do with my new rack.

Some of its inexperience. I never really had much a spice rack growing up as a kid. Well, I did. But I never paid attention to them. And now I've built my own. And I still build it, by buying one or two spices at a time.

This is what I have. Ground cumin. Tarragon leaves. California lemon peel. Ground ginger. Montreal chicken seasoning. Rubbed sage. Mediterranean basil leaves. What to do with all them? I don't even know what they are. I do know that these are the same kinds of spices that sparked trade wars and conquests (especially the Montreal Chicken Seasoning- the French, the Brits, the Indians and the Americans fought the famous 'Fowl War of 1754' over it, a precursor to the French and Indian War). Sure these things would've been nice to have four hundred years ago- in 1635, I'd be a rich noble vs. the poor soldier I am now.

I bought them with the vague idea that I'd do something with them. And sometimes I do. I dump a few of them in my marinades. I poured some ground cumin (the dirtiest spice out there?) into my bourbon/teriyaki marinade that I left my chicken that I'm going to bake tonight to defrost in. But beyond that, not much.

Its sad. These spices reflect why I'm not meant to be a good cook. I don't like to follow recipes. Recipes mean having to go out and buy ingredients. Ingredients that I don't have. I don't like to do research. Research means time and energy that I don't want to expend on food. And finally, I have a terrible sense of smell. Its what makes me bad at tasting beer. When I put tarragon leaves in my italian marinade, I can't pick up the tarragon. When I put ground cumin in a bourbon, teriyaki sauce, how am I supposed to know where the teriyaki sauce ends and the cumin begins? Maybe teriyaki sauce always smells of cumin.

But my rack remains. It was a bit impulsive. And I'm still building it. One day, it will get to be an extravagant size. People will stare in fascinated and horrified fashion. And until I meet a girl who is a "spice" girl, I don't think there will be any use for them. They're useless appendages to my never ending kitchen endeavors.

The End.